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Do you know the difference between a vibrator and a
dildo? Fortunately, there's a really easy answer to this common
question: vibrators vibrate and dildos don't. True, many vibrators
and dildos are very similar in appearance, texture and use.
However, if it needs batteries, it's a vibrator.
It's easy to understand why you'd want a vibrator: all that sizzling vibration feels really good against just about any body part. So why would you want something as static and dull as a dildo? While it's true many people enjoy the the tingly feelings vibrators produce, others find the sensation too intense and would prefer an altogether different kind of stimulation. Some women claim they are "vaginal" as opposed to "clitoral," which means they enjoy the stimuli produced by static penetrating toys more than that of buzzing clitoral toys. Also, some people would rather experience the sensations of thrusting and "fullness" produced by a dildo, whether it be vaginal or anal. Finally, dildos are popular with people who enjoy penetrating others, but who may not have the equipment to do so. While lesbian women obviously fall into this last category, so do men with erectile dysfunction and women who enjoy anally penetrating their male partners.
Like vibrators, dildos are available in a wide variety of sizes, shapes textures and colors, making the selection a little confusing. Do you know the difference between silicone, rubber and cyberskin dildos? What about the different shapes—do you know why some are curved and others are straight? Why do some look like real penises and others like freakish magic wands? Relax! Our dildo guide will answer all these questions ... and more!
Materials
Like most sex toys, dildos can be made from just about anything with a phallic shape, including vegetables! However, some materials stand up to wear and tear a little better than others. For example, you probably don't want to use the same zucchini for a year, but you can certainly keep the same silicone dildo for that timespan. Here are the most common materials from which dildos can be made:
* Cyberskin™ Dildos made from Cyberskin are really, really nice. They look and feel almost exactly like human skin: soft, warm and jiggly, yet firm. If you can afford it, buy a dildo made from this high-tech material also known as thermal plastic. One caveat (besides the price): care and maintenance of dildos made from this material can be quite a pain. Not only must you thoroughly clean the toy between each use, you have to coat it with a special kind of talc to ensure it retains its lifelike texture. Oh, and Cyberskin is extremely porous, so no sharing of toys without a condom.* Silicone The ideal material for dildos, silicone is lifelike with a soft, smooth texture. It's non-porous, so you can easily wash your toys with soap and water without having to worry about having an allergic reaction, and because you can boil silicone, dildos made from this material can be fully sterilized and are safe to share. Just make sure you clean them thoroughly between uses and slap a condom on them if you're sharing toys during the same lovemaking session. Silicone is relatively hypoallergenic; very rarely do people experience allergic reactions to dildos made from it. Silicone toys are hand-cast, so they tend to be on the pricey side. However, they are extremely durable and will last for years with proper care.
* Jelly Dildos made from jelly also feel fairly realistic, but they aren't as expensive—or as nice. Your parts might stick a little to a bare jelly toy, but if you use water-based lubricant during your play it shouldn't be a problem. Some people claim that jelly toys smell a little funky, but others aren't bothered at all by the smell. It's up to you. However, you do need to wash your jelly toys with warm water only—jelly toys are destroyed by hot water or soap. This means that jelly toys aren't safe to share unless you use condoms every time.
* Rubber Many dildos are made from simple latex rubber, which isn't as jiggly as silicone or jelly; rubber dildos tend to be very firm and not very lifelike to the touch. They also wear out much more quickly and can cause an allergic reaction if you're sensitive to latex. Finally, like jelly toys, rubber dildos are quite porous, so they require the same soft-touch when cleaning them and can't be shared without using condoms. If this seems like a lot of negatives, consider the price: rubber dildos can be quite inexpensive.
* Acrylic or Lucite These material are hard as a rock, which isn't the ideal texture for dildos. However, this firm texture makes acrylic and Lucite perfect for PC muscle-strengthening toys such as Kegel exercisers. This material is also good for prostate-stimulating toys, which many people consider to be dildos, too. Another great thing about these materials: you can boil them without harming them, which means you can share your toys without worrying about catching (or spreading) something nasty.
Unfortunately, the only way to determine what material suits you best is to actually go to a sex toys store and handle a bunch of different kinds of toys. Although that kind of field trip can be embarrassing, we really recommend it. If you just can't do it—or if you live in an area that doesn't have adult stores—you'll have to order your toys from a catalog or Internet site. Start with the less expensive materials and work your way up. Or find a retailer with a really good return policy!
Handheld Dildos
Most people prefer dildos they can use with their hands. There's just something about holding onto something and thrusting ... in other words, handheld dildos give users a great deal of control over the speed, depth and intensity of their experiences. While dildos come in almost every conceivable size, shape and color, here are a few of the most common.
* Realistic Dildos Realistic dildos look just like the real thing—in fact, they're often cast from molds created from real penises. Most realistic dildos are made from silicone, jelly or Cyberskin—textures that closely resemble human skin. Many realistic dildos have testicles, veins and other natural anomalies. Don't be put off by your response to realistic dildos: while some people really enjoy the heft and natural look of these toys, others are freaked out by the realism.* Semi-realistic Dildos A little less "authentic" than their super-real cousins, these dildos resemble penis to a significant degree. Semi-realistics come in a variety of colors and styles, from red to green to purple, and often have wild patterns. Many people prefer these dildos over any other kind, partly because they are comfortable to hold and use, and partly because they resemble the male member, but not too closely.
* Smooth Dildos Smooth dildos are smooth, sleek and seamless, usually constructed of silicone, jelly or translucent rubber. These toys are relatively uncommon; the lack of friction makes them undesirable for many people. However, like all sex toys, they have their devotees: some people swear the smooth ride is delectable.
* "Weird" Dildos For whatever reason, some women prefer that their sex toys resemble anything but a penis. We've seen silicon, jelly and rubber vegetables, dolphins, mysterious wand-like creations, space-age designs with little dangly things hanging off the end ... we don't question anything. If a particular dildo exists, as weird as it may look, it must have a market. Keep an open mind and give it a try.
* Double Dildos These party toys are meant for two; a double dildo is nothing more than two realistic dildos joined at the base with a little extra wiggle room. Any hetero- or homosexual combination can make good use of a double dildo (or "double dong," as they're sometimes called): man and man, man and woman, and woman and woman.
* Inflatable Dildos Available in a variety of sizes and colors, these toys pump up for the perfect fit. Inflatables are usually shaped like semi-realistic penises attached to a cord and handheld air pump ball. You use an inflatable just as you would a regular dildo, with one difference: you use the hand pump to inflate the dildo to your preferred size.
* Anal Dildos Although anal toys are really an altogether different subject, we're addressing them here for one reason: safety. Yes, almost any "vaginal" dildo can technically be used as an anal dildo, but that doesn't mean you should try it. Only use dildos with a flared base for anal insertion. You don't want anything getting lost in there!
Hands-Free Dildos
While some people swear by handheld devices, others prefer the hands-free fun they have with a dildo strapped into a harness. Used by one partner to penetrate another, these toys aren't just for lesbian couples; all kinds of twosomes can enjoy the power-shifting and role-playing that accompany harness play. Women often get a thrill from penetrating their male partners, and men who have trouble achieving or maintaining an erection find strap-ons useful for pleasing their partners. Some men enjoy masturbating while penetrating their partners, some women use strap-ons to anally or vaginally penetrate their female lovers.
Harnesses and strap-ons utilize regular dildos, usually the realistic or semi-realistic kind. Select any kind of unit that appeals to you, but make sure you get one with a flared base. Otherwise, your toy will slip right out of its holster. You should also keep size in mind; the harness usually cuts an inch or so off your dildo, converting that perfect eight-incher into an potentially less satisfying seven-inch toy.
Made from sturdy leather, flexible vinyl or cheap elastic, strap-ons or harnesses come in three basic shapes:
* Thigh Harness This harness straps to your upper thigh, holding the dildo steady at crotch level. People seem to really enjoy the flexibility and comfort of this model, probably because it leaves the wearer's genitals free for manipulation.* G-string or Panty Harness Shaped like a G-string or pair of strappy panties, this harness slips on like underwear and positions the dildo directly over the wearer's pubic bone. It's a sturdy construction that many women enjoy for the sheer stability and power associated with wearing it. Not a great option for most men, however, or for those who detest the feel of a thong between their buttocks.
* Shorts Harness Resembling a pair of bicycle pants, these "shorts" have a front cutout for a dildo. Extremely comfortable and stable, this type of harness is very popular. The only real drawback is that is completely covers the genitals, making simultaneous digital manipulation difficult.
Whichever type of harness or strap-on dildo you choose, remember to talk to your partner before you experiment. While it's a good idea to do so before any new kind of sex play, your partner may be particularly surprised if you come prancing into the bedroom with a dildo strapped to your thigh. Play it safe and make sure both parties are receptive to the idea. If you encounter some resistance, you might try renting or purchasing one of the excellent instructional videos made for guiding couples through alternative penetration and role shifting.
In General
Before you pick out a toy, consider your needs and preferences. If you have trouble reaching orgasm during penetration alone, a dildo might not be the best choice for you. If you decide to go for it, think about what shapes, colors and textures appeal to you. Do you want stay traditional or try something new and wild? Do you want to use your toy alone or with a friend? There's no "right answer" to any of questions ... it's all a matter of what turns you on! However, you'll have an easier time selecting your dildo if you give it some thought before you try to buy. And always, always follow these rules:
* Use lots of lubricant when you insert toys anywhere.
* Always use a condom when sharing toys.
* Don't use a toy vaginally and anally without cleaning it first.
* Clean your toy after every use.
* Store your toys in a cool, dry place.
Whichever toy you decide to try, let your desires be your guide. Don't let other people's inhibitions bring you down. There is absolutely nothing wrong with buying, owning and using sex toys! Whether you use your toys alone or with a partner, you are enhancing your life and pumping up your sex drive. Furthermore, you're keeping an open mind and trying something new, which is the key to lifelong learning. So relax and enjoy yourself—and have a great time!
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