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Most people have a bottle or two of massage oil in
their night stand. Some may even have a tube of KY lying around.
But only a relative few have a more exotic treasure trove of
sexual lubricants, massage oils and warming oils. If you think
sexual lubricants are only for masturbation, anal sex and frigid
housewives, you're dead wrong. A fun and frisky way to slick down
the sex surface, lubricants serve a practical and a sensual
purpose, readying the body and senses for sexual
play.
Sexual Lubricants
Although lubricants have been used for centuries to smooth the way for masturbation and anal play, most couples don't know they need to use sexual lubrication when having plain old sex. It's true: although a woman's body naturally becomes lubricated when she's aroused, oftentimes her body won't produce enough moisture to allow her to comfortably enjoy sex. That's where lube comes in. A shallow handful applied to the penis, vulva and vagina will ease penetration and make the whole, wonderful experience more comfortable and more enjoyable for both partners. Sexual lubricants come in four basic forms:
* Petroleum-based. Made from petroleum jelly, mineral oil or petrolatum. Different types include Vaseline products, baby oil and KY Jelly. As petroleum-based lubes destroy latex—practically on contact—they should never be used with condoms, diaphragms or cervical caps. Petroleum-based lubes stain fabric and can be difficult to wash out. Also, petroleum-based lubes tend to irritate the vagina, so they're not really the best option for women wanting to enjoy vaginal penetration. Petroleum-based lubes are great for male masturbation and anal play. Petroleum-based lubes are widely available at grocery stores and drugstores.* Oil-based. Usually made from natural products, such as vegetable oils, nut oils, Crisco and butter. Oil-based lubes tend to stain fabrics and can be difficult to wash off, but they are safe for use with the vagina. Oil-based lubes also destroy latex, so, like petroleum-based lubes, they should never be used with condoms, diaphragms or cervical caps. Oil-based lubricants great for anal sex, vaginal intercourse, and male and female masturbation. Oil-based lubes are widely available at grocery stores and drugstores.
* Water-based. Water-based lubricants typically contain deionized water, glycerin, propylene glycol and nontoxic preservatives. Available in both flavored and unflavored mixtures—although most unflavored lubes taste slightly sweet. Water-based lubes do not stain, are safe for use with latex and all other barrier birth control methods, and rarely cause irritation. While they often dry out during extended sex, water-based lubes are quickly revived with a spritz of water or a dollop of saliva. Because of their versatility and effectiveness, water-based lubes are the form of lube recommended most often by sex therapists and experienced couples. Water-based lubes are available from specialty shops, catalogs and online retailers.
* Silicone-based. Silicone-based lubricants are similar to water-based lubes with one notable difference: because they are silicone based, they are completely waterproof, making them ideal for underwater use. They also retain their lubricating properties better and longer than water-based lubricants, and they are highly concentrated, so a little goes a long way. Silicone will not harm latex, as oil-based lubricants will do; however, silicone-based lubricants can harm sex toys made from silicone.
Whether you decide to try petroleum-, oil-, water- or silicone-based lubricants, remember the various restrictions that go along with each. Try to share a sampler pack of assorted lubricants with your lover so the two of you can experiment with different flavors, consistencies and textures. If you don't find a lube you like right away, don't panic: there are about a zillion different kinds out there. To get you started, here are our favorites.
Astroglide
A longtime favorite, water-based and water-soluble Astroglide is designed to mimic the body's natural fluids. Astroglide enhances sexual pleasure, relieves vaginal dryness and makes condom use more enjoyable. Invented by a rocket scientist!
Slippery Stuff
Originally developed as a way to more easily slip into rubber diving suits, Slippery Stuff soon became a popular sexual lubricant once users realized that a shower revives the lube's slippery quality. Slick, odorless and completely taste-free, this water-soluble lube is great for underwater sex.
Eros Classic Bodyglide
A super-concentrated silicone-based sexual lubricant, Eros doubles as a moisturizer and therapeutic massage lotion. The silicone formula makes it perfect for underwater use. Never sticky or tacky, the lubricant is hypoallergenic and safe for use with condoms.
Elbow Grease
This legendary petroleum-based lube is thick and creamy, making it ideal for genital massage, masturbation, anal play or marathon lovemaking. Non-sticky and long-lasting, we particularly recommend it for anal use. Not for use with latex products. Available in regular or "hot" menthol.
ID Juicy Lube
Available in four different flavors, this slick, long-lasting water-based lube is tasty, if a little sweet. Choose from bubblegum, cherry, peach or watermelon.
Massage Oils
Massage lotions do a variety of useful things: they spice up a boring night, they lend a sensual dimension to a boring old back rub, and (most importantly) they reduce friction, keeping your back silky, slippery and slick while your lover massages it. Without massage oil, a sensual massage can quickly turn into a sandpapery rubdown. To use, pour a small amount in the palm of your hand and rub your hands together before gently applying to your lover's body. Never pour the oil directly on your lover's back—it's cold and just a little bit scary.
While you can use regular hand lotion, it's best to use lotions or oils specifically developed for massage. They leave less of a sticky residue and often have a pleasant aroma and/or taste. If you have oily skin, make sure you shower after your massage: many massage oils can cause breakouts on your back or chest. Also, try to avoid the Ben-Gay scented athletic tonics when combining sex with massage—the mentholated fumes can be a huge sensual turnoff. And remember, massage oils are intended for external use only.
Kama Sutra Aromatic Massage Oils
Relax, rejuvenate or arouse your lover with the intoxicating aromas from this popular oil collection. Blended with almond, grape seed and other pure essential oils, these five light, non-greasy blends glide on easily to minimize friction. Not safe for use with latex products. Available in Sweet Almond, Healing Blend, Serenity, Pleasure Garden and Soaring Spirit.
Dirty Girl Massage Oil
The popular line of Dirty Girl bath products features this yummy massage oil. Lightly pepperminty, this massage oil will perk up your senses while you glide it on your lover's back and body. We like it because it's fun, flirty and not particularly sticky.
Tantric Massage Oil
A great starter kit, the Tantric Massage Oil starter kit contains massage oils in six exotic scents: Bodhi Spice, Tibet Ginger, Mantra Musk, Tantric Breeze, Shakti and Nirvana. Ideal for sensual massage.
Garden Botanika Spa Massage Oil
Although this oil isn't specifically intended for sensual massage, the rich herbal and vegetable oils (camellia, babassu and avocado) and emollient oils (jojoba and safflower) create an effective, silky lotion that smells wonderful. Blended with the mineral-rich extracts of seaweed, kelp, algae and bladderwrack, this massage oil will also moisturize skin.
Warming Oils
Also known as edible oils, warming oils work almost the same way massage oils work: pour a small puddle in one hand, rub both hands together to distribute, then apply in a thin layer to the desired area. Gently rub into the skin, applying more when necessary. As you continue to massage, the warming oil will begin to heat up, causing your partner to feel a pleasantly warm sensation. While not the best option for full-body massages, warming oils are great for genital massage, or for massaging small, concentrated areas, such as breasts, buttocks, thighs and arms.
Some warming oils can't be used with latex products—make sure to read the label before using. Warming oils aren't appropriate for internal use—don't use them for vaginal or anal penetration. However, you can apply them to the surface of your genitals. Be warned: some of the warmth-inducing elements may irritate skin; do a skin patch test before using during sex, or your genitals may end up hotter than you intended.
Kama Sutra Oils of Love
The Rolls-Royce of warming oils, Kama Sutra Oils of Love are an elegant addition to any sexual interaction. Slippery, glycerine-based, stain-free and condom-compatible. Made with natural Indian fragrances and in assorted flavors: Ambrosia, Vanilla Creme, Raspberry Kiss, Chocolate Mint, Cappuccino, Cherry Almond and Original. Favorites are the Original and Ambrosia, but Kama Sutra produces a smaller-sized sampler pack so you can determine which flavor is best for you.
Summer's Heat Warming Oil
The trailer-park cousin of the Kama Sutra Oils, these flavored oils get the job done: rub them on and lick them off—the more you rub, the hotter they get. Flavored and scented in Spicy Cinnamon, Red Hot Cherry, Sizzling Strawberry and Passionate Punch. Very sweet—ideal for novices.
Hot Licks Warming Lotion
Made with edible vegetable glycerin and pure food flavors, this lickable warming lotion is perfect for a romantic weekend at trashy hotel. Available in Pina-Colada, Champagne, Peach and other flavors.
Intimacy Warm Embrace
A very sensual, smooth and silky lotion, Intimacy Warm Embrace is great for sensual massage. It stays slippery, and the warmth factor isn't too overpowering. The skin will heat up just fine during regular massage, but blowing and licking will heat things up even more. Excellent taste—not too sweet. Available in six flavors.
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